yes! i know ! my blog is deadly dead!
is been about 430 days i didn't update my blog or even check on it.
i don't know why i cant continue it. i just lost the passion :/
what make me writing today ?
maybe i am really moody today, so i feel like wanna share.i had a 3 months relationship last year with a guy that is way too perfect for me. he is cute and good .so i am insecure when i was couple with him. i decided to break up because i think he deserve a better girl than me . a girl which is cute , pretty ,sweet ,hardworking ,clever ,comes from well do family ,caring ... and another reason is because i think he never love or even like me before ,he just need someone to accompany him and i am happen to be there for him .so he just grabs me like a lifebuoy . okie ,i admit that i am not really into that relationship that time! but it is because i am paranoids and scare ,i scare that he will cheat on me . so i am not that hurt and i have no choice but to do so. i want him to get someone that is meant for him. a girl which he deserve , i want him to be happy . he is in another relationship about 3 months later. i feel happy for him and at the same time i am not feeling good . but its just a small feeling ! i swear !! just a bit !!!
but i dont know what happened to me today, that feeling has been magnified ! suddenly i feel that i shouldn't do that last time . why should i suffer alone . i am jealous . maybe is because of christmas . it should be a lovely and happy day . everyone should stay with the one they love ,their friends and family .i want and i need it too. i don't know what happened to me this year. i lost my best friend. he will never ever be there for me anymore . something happened and i hurt him . we are not getting back like last time . i miss that time ! the time we used to share everything . you tell me your secret ,we talk on phone .... * cries *
all these feeling just come out of sudden and it come out from no where. it make me unable to breath. is too pain and is too much for me.
maybe i have been alone for such a long time ,maybe what i need is a new best friend and someone who love me .an all new relationship .
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